How We Met

But still- she wouldn't eat. We had to force some of the vitamin E down her throat. On the Saturday before her death, I was so worried about her. I was baby sitting at our neighbor's house, and I took the kids to my house to check on her. Either that, or I just left them with a friend, I don't know.
She didn't move much, much at all and still just kept her head hovering over the dish. I felt like crying. I couldn't do anything- I felt so useless. And I didn't know what she'd want to make her feel better or what she was thinking..

I think it was that night, I let her outside to go to the bathroom or whatever. And I couldn't find her. I looked everywhere, calling and calling. She was just under a car in the garage. I was releived to see that.

I had this thing that I was proud of- cause I went to church everyday for a very long time and was very proud of that fact. That Sunday morning, when I looked in the laundry room where Speedy was in a basket with towels. I picked up the basket and put it in the family room with her still inside. She suddenly wanted to leave really really bad.

She wanted to go and find a place to die.

My parents said I had two choices: Give her an IV which wouldn't help at all, or just put her to sleep. I was crying the whole time, because I couldn't decide. She was suffering so much. I decided to just put her to sleep. My parents told me that was a good decision.
So, before we left to the vet- I picked her up and held her in my arms, walking around our large property. That would be the last time she would see it. We put her in a box, and drove her to the vet. I was unbeleivably sad.

We took her to the vet- she got the shot. I watched as the life runned out of her, and she was dead. I cried so hard. Harder than I've ever cried before.

We put her in a box and took her home. We found a spot to bury her- and my mom stayed there, while I went to get the box. The wind was blowing slightly, and I sware- to this day- that I could hear a 'purr'. She was glad that she would be buried.