Get Down, Get Down!

You may have seen the article recently that claimed that when cockatoos were shown YouTube videos, they started to dance. Yes, I’m still trying to erase that scary image from my mind, too.

Cats, on the other hand, apparently showed no such dancing ability, with the exception of a few conservative cats who occasionally broke into a stately waltz.

Well, Gracie is mad! She dances constantly. She even says that life itself is a dance. And that Liza Minnelli will back her up on this. The following is Gracie’s response to these questionable findings. She purred, I typed:
   
Dear Scientists:
You better look again! Me and my homies dance all the time — when we’re not sleeping and dreaming of a lifetime supply of albacore. Just give us a beat and we’ll really shake 'em down. When a bunch of us do it together, we look like Janet Jackson and her crew. We even have our own version of a wardrobe malfunction: A tabby from next door pulls off my top and I go wild! Now, I suppose, to the casual onlooker, this doesn’t look like dancing. I even heard Peter, refer to it once as “loitering.” What does he know? He listens to the Carpenters!

Now, about this cockatoo business. Cocka, please! I’m sorry, but clenching and unclenching your claws on one of those little trapezes is not dancing. Plus, scientists got this reaction from playing the birds a thousand YouTube videos. Pretty  cruel. And most of the videos were by the Backstreet Boys. Extremely cruel. The cockatoos were probably just freaking out, and kept their eyes closed the whole time. I can imagine the scientists playing the video and thinking, "The birds are dancing." And the cockatoos are thinking, "Dudes, call it anything you want. Just take off those Backstreet Boys. And quit playing games with my heart!"

Now, as far as lots of cats getting together and dancing, well that is sort of rare. We’re like gang members. We wear our colors, act cool and watch each other warily.  But sometimes, we take off  those colors — symbolically speaking — and throw down! Like at a sleepover or something. There’ll be a couple of us cats just staring at each other. Then, maybe, a human will put on some Biggie. And we’ll stand up on our hind legs and swat at the air. It might look like insanity to you. But, homie, we’re dancing! Of course, occasionally, one of these folks will also have a cockatoo who gets loose. A cat will chase it. Then, it looks like the bird is dancing.

Of course, if you should let a dog loose at one of our parties, it probably looks like we’re all dancing, too. But we’re just running for our lives.

Anyway, scientists, listen up. In the future, if you want to know about cats, come straight to the source. Ask me anything. If you want to see my moves, I’ll be happy to oblige. Just stop printing all this inaccurate information. Cockatoos dance? Come on! Now, let’s get a jump on the next subject. Us cats? We invented the remix!

Sincerely,
Gracie