How Cats Grieve

Learn how to help cats through the loss of a fellow cat with tips from CAT FANCY and CatChannel cat behaviorist Marilyn Krieger.

By Marilyn Krieger, CCBC | Posted: August 30, 2012, 2 p.m. EST

Cats express grief in several ways, and you can take steps to ease the grieving process for your cat.

Q: We recently had to put one of our five cats to sleep. The cat who was the most bonded to him seems depressed. He stays upstairs most of the day and won't come down with us and the other cats. He has also become more aggressive with one of the other cats.

What should we do? My wife has been hinting about getting a kitten to give to the cat a new friend.

A: Losing a cat is stressful for everyone — including owners and other resident animals. The loss can be especially hard on the cats who were bonded to the missing companion.

Grieving cats can express their feelings in a variety of ways including:
Vocalizing
Sleeping more
Retreating from other household members
Eating less (Not eating can hurt cats' health)

In addition to grieving, the loss of a cat causes disruptions to the household, by changing how the remaining resident cats relate to each other. Cats establish places in their flexible hierarchy and they have territories. When a cat dies or is removed from the household, the remaining resident cats need to reestablish their places in the hierarchy and redefine territories. Sometimes cats will become aggressive towards each other when another cat passes on.

Help your cats through this difficult time in a number of ways.
•   Maintain Consistency Keep a schedule, engaging in activities your cats like such as play and grooming. Feed them at the same times every day.
•   Treat Your Cats If your cats enjoy treats, conduct daily cat-treat treasure hunts by hiding treats throughout the house on cat trees, shelves and in interactive toys.
•   Be Present Cats can be comforted simply by the presence of their favorite people. Spend time with your cats, reading a book or working on your computer.
•   Feed Well Give your cats high quality cat food that they adore and monitor their eating habits. If they stop eating, immediately consult with your veterinarian.
•   Share Ground Help the adjustment in the social structure by giving cats ways to mark territory and show their positions in the changing hierarchy. Scratching is one way cats mark their territories. Place scratching posts and horizontal scratchers in every room the cats hang out. Also provide vertical territory, such as tall cat trees, window perches and shelves throughout your house. Cats show their positions in the flexible hierarchy by where they sit in relationship to each other. The more vertical territory you have, the happier your cats will be.

Adopting a kitten or another cat at this time will probably cause your cats more stress and further disrupt the household. Introducing new cats or kittens to resident cats is very stressful and so is grieving. Instead of compounding the stress by adopting a cat at this time, help your cats adjust to the loss of their companion. Consider adopting a new kitten only after your cats are back to their regular routines and have adjusted to the loss.

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How Cats Grieve

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Reader Comments

BETTY LONG BEACH, CA

9/26/2012 2:39:00 PM

MY CAT IS 1 YEAR OLD FEMALE, SHE STARTED PLAYING WITH A MALE CAT THAT CAME AROUND HER YARD THEY BECAME BEST FRIENDS. WE ALSO STARTED FEEDING HIM BECAUSE HE WAS VERY THIN AND HE DID NOT SEEM TO HAVE A HOME, SO WE NAMED HIM FRIEND. HE WAS ALSO VERY SCARED AT FIRST LIKE SOMEONE HAD HURT HIM. WE HAD HIM ABOUT 3 MONTH HE WAS SO LOVEABLE SHE REALLY LOVED HIM. ONE MORNING HE WAS HIT BY A CAR WE DIDN'T LET HER SEE HIM AND WE LAID HIM TO REST IN ARE BACK YARD. IT'S BEEN ABOUT THREE WEEK AND SHE STILL LOOKS FOR HIM EVERY WHERE AND IT MAKES ME SO VERY SAD WILL SHE EVER STOP LOOKING

Cindy Ellwood City,, PA

9/11/2012 5:12:57 PM

Thank you for this comforting article. My cat Magellan lost his mommy cat, Tina a month ago. We are peacefully grieving together. He has become more social with everyone and all of the dogs that visit us. He is spending much more time with me and I like that. I was not sure if this was a good time to bring another cat into our home so this article helped me to just kick back and Magellan and me will get through this grieving over our Tina's natural death together.

Janet Albany, OR

9/6/2012 10:48:12 PM

Yes, thank you for this article, it helps those of us to help others who have lost their babies. I lost my Siamese A.J. for two weeks Tinkerbelle looked for him, so I went around and left my name with different places, and one called me about a Siamese mix, when I saw him I knew what he was, he was a RAGDOLL, I brought him home and at first Tinkerbelle hissed at him, but later she bonded with him, then I had to lay her to rest, due to her seizures, he would let me know when she started to have one, then before she left I added Izzy B, a blk calico. I finally had to do the dreaded thing and lay her to rest. For two days J.R., went into my closet
and laid on the blanket she use to lay on, now he has gotten over her being gone, for he romps and plays with his new sister. But he had his grieving time and now he is a happy boy.
I also gave him Catnip, so too helped him and we played fetch. With tinkerbelle having seizures, she was ok with the new baby, it gave J.R. someone to play with and it left her to relax.

Eileen Clovis, CA

9/6/2012 7:58:27 PM

Great article! We had 5 cats on the farm, and Smoky was the top cat. When my husband came home every evening, Smoky used to come over & sit on his chest as he watched TV. When he died, Bandit did something I'd never seen. He hopped right up, & put one paw on his chest, as if to ask if it was ok? Seeing no trouble, he leaped up, folded his front paws & settled in on his chest, just like Smoky did. It was the most amazing 'changing of the guard' we had ever seen! All the other cats accepted him as the next top cat. Incredible! He kept this up every night, as long as he lived.