Layla Tabitha Erner

The Top 10 Reasons Why, I, Layla Tabitha Erner, Am the Most Spoiled Cat in the World:

10. Most children have two parents that name them, mine came from Internet votes.

9. Anything eaten at the Erner household must be shared with me, or Daddy takes it away from you until I am finished.

8. I have a friend who plays “beauty parlor” with me, while I linger upon my gorgeous reflection in the mirror.

7. If I am not your favorite feline in the house, my daddy will throw you in the pool, clothes and all. Who is your favorite again?

6. Water bowl? Please! I only accept a glass with crushed ice and fresh cool water!

5. Daddy says I am not bad, just misunderstood. Try and rebuke and I’ll swat you just to set you straight.

4. The bathroom is mine. If you must use it, I will join you and supervise.

3. When the litterbox is changed I must use it first. The siblings will wait.

2. Three hundred words or less? How can anyone describe the most perfect kitten in the world in under 300 words? (Mommy’s first draft was 1,800 words.)

1. If I could talk, I am sure I would sound like Scarlet O’Hara, and the first words out of my mouth would be, “My name is Layla Tabitha Erner, and my daddy says I can do what ever I want.”

Jackie and Michael Erner
Middletown, N.J.